Tears of Joy

The other night, I was putting my son to bed. We did our usual routine of brushing the teeth, get a drink of water, talk a little about the day or whatever he wants to talk about. Then prayers. And, I decided to spend a little more time with him, because it was obvious he was needy for my attention. More than anything I want my children to always feel loved and safe. I don't even remember what we were talking about.  There was a lot of laughter and playfulness though.

Then I had one of those moments, where you wish you could "freeze time," and stay there for a while. Looking into my boys eyes as we laughed and cuddled, I got teary eyed. I felt joy, joy that I have been missing out on for too many years. And I thought to myself, "this is what I missed out on." So simple, just being with my kids, loving them, enjoying moments....I missed out on the blessing of those moments for so many years.

Through the years, when my children were babies/toddlers, there were good times and we did have fun. But, I was unhappy, for many different reasons. One thing that constantly stole my joy was regret. I didn't appreciate where I was at, because I was so lonely. I was always contemplating and trying to figure out what direction I should be going with my life. And well, to make the long story short, all that did was steal my joy.

Finally I have learned to enjoy the moments right in front of me. I don't want to ever take for granted these special times God has given me with my children ever again.

Do you struggle with living in the present? My prayer is for new moms to really see what is right in front of them, the blessing of their children, and to fully experience that joy. Because yes, it is true, it goes by so fast. I would love to hear from you.