Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Starting Over

2014 came and went so quickly, it was in a way disturbing to me.  And well, unfortunately things didn't go the way I had hoped or planned. My heart broke several times through difficult things I faced, including the loss of loved ones. I didn't live up to my healthy work out routine that I dedicated myself to in the beginning of 2014 either. As I reflect on the past year, there were good things too. In fact I did accomplish one goal which I worked really hard to achieve. Also my children had a successful year in school and we had many enjoyable memories as a family. Like I said though, I felt like this past Christmas came so fast it was astonishing to me. Seriously it felt like the year went by in a flash. How about you? Do you feel like last year went slow or extremely fast?

As 2015 begins, I am once again starting over. I am so grateful to begin a new year and glad 2014 is officially over. This year I have decided to do things a little differently with my goals. Basically I have decided to finally be "different." I don't mean be unique and stand out or anything silly like that. What I mean is I have decided to overcome my fears. Fears that hold me back from moving forward and going for the things I want for my life. I have also decided to not put so much pressure on myself with goals that I do hope to achieve this year. Instead I have decided to work on these things but do so humbly. Because I know that some of these things definitely may not come to pass. Ultimately my life, my choices are in God's hands. And I know that God can direct my path differently than what I imagined at any time.

I sit here thinking about the year to come and I wonder what is next? How fast will this year go? What challenges and heartache will I face? Will some of my dreams come true by next Christmas? These things used to give me much anxiety, because I would want things to be the way I wanted. I wanted to have control of circumstances. Last year definitely opened my eyes in a different way than before. I realize I can't have control and that is okay. 

Proverbs 16:9 New International Version (NIV)

In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.
I have also decided this year I want to celebrate life more. One fun way I am going to do this is by having our family record special moments or accomplishments (or whatever gives us joy from the events of our day) on small note paper. We are placing these little notes in a jar and at Christmas time we are going to open the jar and read all of our notes as a family. I heard this idea on the radio and thought it was an awesome idea. So I am really excited that my kids have both already put some notes in the jar. I think it is just going to be awesome to reflect on all the blessings of our year. Hopefully this time when the year flies by, it won't be as disturbing to me.