My 2 cents for what it's worth

I probably shouldn't be writing right now because I have a lot of studying to be done! Oh well, it feels nice to take a break and write my thoughts. I have been having a battle with forgiveness lately. Basically, I'm holding grudges, bitterness, and anger towards people in my past. And as I sit here thinking about that, I know that my feelings have absolutely no impact on these people whatsoever. However, holding onto all this unforgiveness only hurts me. 
The people of my past aren't affected by my present feelings and emotions of what they did to me. They likely don't even bat an eye at the thought of me or even think of me at all. And yet, these memories cause me to at times get swept up in disappointment, hurt, sadness, etc. So I sit and wonder, how do we truly forgive? How does the parent who lost her child to a drunk driver crash forgive? I see people who have been through awful tragedies like that and it truly amazes me the heart they have to be able to forgive.
I yearn to forgive and fully move on.  However, even if I do finally fully forgive, I know these memories are still apart of me. And the memories will still cause the hard feelings that I have to deal with. Which ultimately leads me to knowing I need God. I can't do it on my own, but God can. I have to give it to God, He knows what happened in my past, He knows who hurt me, He knows. Ultimately God takes care of everything. Do I know why God allowed these things in my past to occur? No, I have no idea at all. But, I do believe He is a Just God. And I do believe He is at work in my life. So I walk my faith walk, saying "God, help me to forgive because I struggle with doing it on my own. I trust you God."


Luke 23:32-34
³² Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. ³³ When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”^[b] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.