Why God? Why?

I am going through a really hard time lately. I recently faced a medical emergency, in which I felt hopeless, helpless, and scared. And lying there on the ground I thought to myself, "what if I die, I don't want to die, please God let me stay here with my babies." I have been in scary situations before, but never did I actually really believe I could die like I felt in those moments lying on my bathroom floor. I don't know why God is allowing me to face such fears, challenges, and current struggles with my health. But I am here in the middle of a struggle which I don't understand.

I heard a sermon a couple weeks ago where the pastor talked about what takes place during the birth of a giraffe. This part of the sermon was so intriguing to me it has been on my mind a lot. When a mama giraffe gives birth she does so standing up. So the baby giraffe comes into the world falling pretty hard onto the ground. Then the mama giraffe welcomes her baby giraffe into the world by giving him a good kick. The baby giraffe is surprised by this of course. But the mama giraffe continues to kick her baby over and over. Finally the baby giraffe will try to stand up and stumbling he does get to his feet with his wobbly legs. Once he is standing, the mama giraffe winds up and kicks her baby off of his feet and he stumbles to the ground. Where once again he tries to stand up quickly. The mama giraffe does this to teach her baby to stand up. In the wild for survival a baby giraffe needs to know how to quickly get to his feet. So even though it seems cruel, the mama giraffe is doing this to her baby because she loves her baby and wants him to survive. The pastor went on to explain how God is like that mama giraffe and we are the baby giraffe. Like the baby giraffe, we don't know why we are enduring this pain. But there is a bigger picture.